vignettes

Mar. 5th, 2017 01:29 pm
aryanhwy: (Default)
[personal profile] aryanhwy
This morning, Gwen got up some time before us (as usually happens on Sundays), and I vaguely heard her busily occupying herself. When I finally woke up around 9:30, I beckoned her to come in and cuddle, and she did, announcing, "I deserve a new cuddly toy! I tidied my room and I tidied the bathroom!" (Note: Tidying the bathroom was entirely her own idea, I had never even suggested it as a possible option.)

We've decided that a sticker chart reward system for big chores like tidying a bathroom should be instituted. Because that does deserve a cuddly toy...but not just for doing it once.

--

Yesterday there was a birthday party at Adventure Valley, a big petting zoo/playground/soft play/animal farm/etc. place. Most of the activities are free once you've paid entrance (and if you're there for a birthday party, the host has paid your entry!), but a few cost an extra pound or two, primarily the motorized things. While we were waiting for the party to get started, Gwen and some others discovered the motorized diggers, and she came over and asked for a pound. I told her we weren't going to be doing the things that cost money because there would be plenty to do with the birthday party. So a few minutes later, she marches up to T.'s mom, Lucy, and asks Lucy for a pound! And Lucy gave her one!

I don't know whether to be mortified, amused, or proud.

Date: 2017-03-06 06:51 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Gwen is amazing!

And seems like Figlia is following her. Figlia picks up scattered toys (all over the house), and piles them on tables/ and in boxes.

Sunday was a good wake up too....

I hope Gwen had a good time at the party...as far as the pound is concerned, I guess you must have been all the three....kids are resourceful!

Date: 2017-03-12 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aryanhwy.livejournal.com
I haven't read that particular article, but I've read loads about the positives and negatives of tying chore doing to rewards or to allowance. G.'s allowance is not tied to doing chores, and there is a strong understanding that everyone does chores in this family because everyone is expected to contribute to the well-running of the household.

But what made me change my mind about the sticker chart was that (a) I think unprompted contributions above and beyond the ordinary expectations SHOULD be rewarded and (b) I realized I reward myself all the time for doing things that have to be done. What's wrong with rewarding G.? If she unpromptedly and without complaint does a fairly big chore that is outside the ordinary expectations, why shouldn't this be recognized? This doesn't take away from the other expectations, which is that if I ask her to help me with a chore, she must do it without complaining, and that if she complains or shirks one of the big chores, then she doesn't get a reward for it. (For example, if we do the laundry together, this is part of normal expectations of everyone contributing to the household, and doesn't warrant a tick on the sticker chart. If she does ALL the take-down/fold/put away, including the clothes that are not her own or part of the household laundry, and she does it unprompted and without complaint, then she does get a tick on the sticker chart.)

So, the back-firing talked about in this article -- that children stop doing chores because the reward is not worth it any more -- isn't really relevant. The reward isn't tied to whether she does the chores, but how she does them.

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