pictures from the weekend

I brought my camera and then didn't end up taking any pictures at all -- not of the gorgeous 14th C hall, not of any of the wonderful displays, not of the amazingly beautiful town we were in. Oh well.

Luckily, lots of other people did, including liadethornegge, who got a couple of me working on, and then showing off, my Viking wire braid:

Learning how.

Drawing it through the holes to narrow and tighten it.

And necklace!

tea/creature of habit/one thing in favor of marrying young

So I've mentioned various posts in the last 6-9 months my growing realization of how much of a creature of habit I am (especially when I found those habits being disrupted -- we'll see how I adapt when Uckelbaby arrives!). In tandem with this are some thoughts I've had off and on about some of the benefits/advantages of marrying young (ok, 22 isn't exactly young, but it's still a lot younger than a lot of people). I've heard various people in their early 30s, especially people who had a failed marriage/long-term relationship in their 20s, say things to the effect of "I'm a completely different person now than I was then", with the implication that this is one of the reasons why the previous long-term relationship/marriage failed, and now that they "know who they are" they have more reason to expect their current relationship/marriage to succeed. Which I'm not disputing at all: In fact, I think I can stand with them in saying that "I'm a (not quite completely but still a relatively) different person now than I was then". I certainly think I count much more as a grown-up than I first did when I moved off to college, or even when I started grad school. It's taken me 7-10 years, but I have reached adulthood. But I'm incredibly lucky in that the passage to adulthood was done in the company of Joel, which means that in many respects, the ways that I have changed since my early 20s are ways in which I have adapted myself to living with him, that is, I've spent the last nearly 10 years becoming perfectly suited (or as close as I can get!) to living with him successfully (and, hopefully, making it possible for him to live with me successfully, which I often think is a harder task).

Among other things, we've developed a lot of habits. Things that you only do with/ways that you only treat someone that you know very well and have spent a lot of time with. The particular thing that triggered this post is tea. We both drink a lot of tea, and one of the things I've always enjoyed about married life is having him make me tea, or making him tea. (I'd say that over the last 9+ years we've each made just about as much tea as we would have if we were single, but half the time we don't have to make our own tea, and half the time we're making it for each other, and so it's a totally different experience.) A lot of the time, the situation is normal: One of us decides we want tea, and goes and puts the kettle on. When it whistles, we'll ask the other if they also want some (answer is almost always yes), and then make two cups. But sometimes it goes other ways: Sometimes, one person starts the tea, but by the time its boiling they're in the middle of something, or has a cat ensconced on the lap, so the other goes and finishes it. And then other times, one person will turn to the other and ask "Do you want some tea?" And when the other says "Yes", the first will so "Oh, good, can you make me some too?"! :) Tonight's exchange was a variant on that. Joel had put the kettle on, and when I was in the kitchen a bit ago I'd even gotten down a mug for me and filled my teaball, so that when it whistled and he went to make his own, he'd find mine already waiting and thus he wouldn't even need to ask if I wanted some, he'd just fill the mug and bring it to me. Well, we were both in the livingroom at our computers when the kettle started whistling, and he turned to me and asked "Do you want some tea?" without making any move to get out of his chair, and I didn't even need him to say anything further, I just got up and asked "What kind do you want?"

I love my husband. Things that would seem horribly rude with any other person are just habits and routines that we've built up together, habits and routines that are part of making me not the person I was 10 years ago, and part of making me ideally suited to being married to him, and all habits and routines that I've gotten into because I got married to him young enough before I got into habits and routines that are ideally suited for a person living on their own. I can't help but think that it's easier to become suited to married life if you start young before those habits and routines are in place, so that when they are, they're apart of living with someone else, rather than trying to adapt yourself to this situation later in life!