pleased

Gwen is 15 weeks old today. My "goal" (hard to call it that when the only thing I did to strive towards it was progress through days) was not to lose all of the baby weight I gained (at my highest I was 59kg = 130lb) because I started off below 100lbs (I was 98.5lb the first time I weighed myself after finding out I was pregnant) and I do try to stay above that, but instead go for 105lb, since that's a good balance between what I was in high school (107.5lb, easy to remember since it was also the frequency of one of the radio stations I listened to) and what I was at my lowest in grad school (~97lb, hello stress). This morning I stepped on the scale to the tune of 47.3kg = 104.25 lb. Whoo! I can't really be all that triumphant because I've done basically nothing in terms of exercise or eating habits, but I'm pleased nevertheless.

I should be more torn up about this than I am

Gwen starts daycare next Thursday, and she'll be going M-R 13:00-18:00. Last Friday the three of us went out for an intake meeting and to see the facilities and meet the people. We were suitably impressed; the caregivers are friendly and competent, the facilities good, they don't have many children yet as they only opened last summer, so when we were there there were two babies napping and another two eating and that was it. (Fridays are a slow day I guess). Gwen already had her own coat peg and box for spare clothes and a designated crib. She's not the youngest; there's one little boy who's about 3 weeks younger than her who also comes. They provide a lot of things -- diapers, formula, snacks (when she gets older), they have regular singing and book reading time, they go outside whenever it's nice and have a nice little yard to play in, lots of toys. I think it's great that she'll have an opportunity to interact with other kids, and also with adults other than Joel and me.

Right now, Gwen is there daycare for a two hour trial run, and I am at the office working (well, writing an LJ post). How do I feel?

Blissfully free. It's so nice to have two hours to myself that don't involve asking Joel to wake up earlier than usual to deal with a (usually crying by midafternoon) baby. She did screw up her face just briefly when I passed her to one of the caretakers, Laura, and I have to admit, my first reaction was "awwww, she knows me! She can differentiate between me and someone else!" rather than "Oh, my poor baby is going to thing I have FORSAKEN HER when I leave, I must be a HORRIBLE MOTHER to want to leave her with this kind, qualified, competent people" (which is, I gather, what most moms usually feel). Since Joel and I are pretty much the only people who ever hold her, I never really had any evidence as to whether or not she had any particular preference for me as opposed to people she doesn't see daily. So that was a bit heart-warming.

I should really stop wasting my precious, precious hours and get back to work!