put on a mask and put on a show
Sep. 3rd, 2015 10:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aryanhwyThe academic conference dinner is among the more unique human of experiences. Put together a group of people who are marked out from the rest of the population on the basis of (a) years of education and (b) field of interest, taken in a very broad sense, add alchohol and indifferent-to-excellent food depending on the venue, and see what happens.
The conference dinner is one of the more important aspects of a conference, carrying as much weight and importance as the scientific programme does, if not more. It is generally towards the end of the conference, after a number of people have given their talks and have had awkward conversations with other attendees during the coffee breaks.
After 10 years in the business, I've learned how to play the game. I've learned what I need to do to succeed in the conference dinner charade, to play my part and make the theatricals a success.
(a) Give a talk on something wholly different from anyone else. When everyone else's slides are full of symbols, omit them from yours and instead include pictures of manuscripts. When you do have a proposition and a "proof" point it out explicitly so the audience realizes what they're getting. This will ensure that people who attend your talk notice you, and are either intrigued or threatened by what you're doing and want to engage you.
(b) Be the only woman at your table. it's not hard, in your field, but if you have a choice of being one of two women at a table of eight,opt for the seating arrangement where you are the only women. If the seating arrangements don't work so that you're the only woman, make sure that everyone immediately adjacent or diagonal to you is a man, AND that everyone immediately adjacent or diagonal to THEM is too. It's essentially the same situation.
(c) Booze. I don't like it, but I've learned that this works: if I have a glass or two of wine or champagne before going in to the dinner, it tramples my sometimes crippling shyness sufficiently and it lowers my inhibitions enough that I am willing to say the things that otherwise I would only think, because the thoughts are sometimes bold and inflexible. But bold and inflexible opinions get you noticed during a conversation, and ensure that not only do you have continual grist for conversation at dinners, people will remember you as having strong opinions. And often, it is strength of opinion that matters in academia, not correctness. And besides, the things that you're saying after a glass or two of wine are only things that you were thinking all along.
(d) Don't be afraid to introduce anecdotes about your kinds into the conversation, if they are germane. After all, even if you've engineered your seating so that you are the only woman amongst men, a goodly percentage of these men have children or grandchildren. If you break into the "anecdata from children" ground, you open up the ground for them to talk about their children, too, you signal that this is an acceptable line of conversation. No man is likely to do that amongst the company of other man, but you know what? Fathers and grandfathers like talking about their kids and grandkids too. They will be grateful to you for signalling that this is an acceptable topic of conversation.
(e) Pay attention to how often the server come by and top off your glass of wine. Know your limit is one glass per hour for no more than 4 hours straight, and if you downed that glass of champagne before the dinner started, recall that you implemented (c) and DRINK WATER. It fills the space between conversation just as well, and it gives others a chance to talk. Because it is very important to:
(f) Remember to give others the chance to talk. When you are the freak/star of your table, because your research is so unusual/because you are the woman and you have primed yourself to be able to talk to people that in any other circumstance you would find it incredibly difficult to talk to, remember that you are not the only one at the table that people will be interested in talking to. You do not need to carry the entire conversation the entire night. Others can shoulder the burden too.
Put on your mask. Play your part. Perform on stage dancing to the piper's tune. No one really believes that the academic conference dinner is anything other than a show, so know what your mask looks like put it on, and play the hell of your part.
The conference dinner is one of the more important aspects of a conference, carrying as much weight and importance as the scientific programme does, if not more. It is generally towards the end of the conference, after a number of people have given their talks and have had awkward conversations with other attendees during the coffee breaks.
After 10 years in the business, I've learned how to play the game. I've learned what I need to do to succeed in the conference dinner charade, to play my part and make the theatricals a success.
(a) Give a talk on something wholly different from anyone else. When everyone else's slides are full of symbols, omit them from yours and instead include pictures of manuscripts. When you do have a proposition and a "proof" point it out explicitly so the audience realizes what they're getting. This will ensure that people who attend your talk notice you, and are either intrigued or threatened by what you're doing and want to engage you.
(b) Be the only woman at your table. it's not hard, in your field, but if you have a choice of being one of two women at a table of eight,opt for the seating arrangement where you are the only women. If the seating arrangements don't work so that you're the only woman, make sure that everyone immediately adjacent or diagonal to you is a man, AND that everyone immediately adjacent or diagonal to THEM is too. It's essentially the same situation.
(c) Booze. I don't like it, but I've learned that this works: if I have a glass or two of wine or champagne before going in to the dinner, it tramples my sometimes crippling shyness sufficiently and it lowers my inhibitions enough that I am willing to say the things that otherwise I would only think, because the thoughts are sometimes bold and inflexible. But bold and inflexible opinions get you noticed during a conversation, and ensure that not only do you have continual grist for conversation at dinners, people will remember you as having strong opinions. And often, it is strength of opinion that matters in academia, not correctness. And besides, the things that you're saying after a glass or two of wine are only things that you were thinking all along.
(d) Don't be afraid to introduce anecdotes about your kinds into the conversation, if they are germane. After all, even if you've engineered your seating so that you are the only woman amongst men, a goodly percentage of these men have children or grandchildren. If you break into the "anecdata from children" ground, you open up the ground for them to talk about their children, too, you signal that this is an acceptable line of conversation. No man is likely to do that amongst the company of other man, but you know what? Fathers and grandfathers like talking about their kids and grandkids too. They will be grateful to you for signalling that this is an acceptable topic of conversation.
(e) Pay attention to how often the server come by and top off your glass of wine. Know your limit is one glass per hour for no more than 4 hours straight, and if you downed that glass of champagne before the dinner started, recall that you implemented (c) and DRINK WATER. It fills the space between conversation just as well, and it gives others a chance to talk. Because it is very important to:
(f) Remember to give others the chance to talk. When you are the freak/star of your table, because your research is so unusual/because you are the woman and you have primed yourself to be able to talk to people that in any other circumstance you would find it incredibly difficult to talk to, remember that you are not the only one at the table that people will be interested in talking to. You do not need to carry the entire conversation the entire night. Others can shoulder the burden too.
Put on your mask. Play your part. Perform on stage dancing to the piper's tune. No one really believes that the academic conference dinner is anything other than a show, so know what your mask looks like put it on, and play the hell of your part.
